happy new year!

today i had my last exams for this week. and what a week it's been, or couple of weeks i should say. i haven't gone to bed earlier than say 2 in the morning for days now. i'm so exhausted i think i'm gonna puke. but hey, it's new year's eve! of course we've celebrated christmas last week, even though we were all burried under piles and piles of books (chinese exam time is exactly in western holiday time). yesterday was my birthday, i am now one-and-twenty years of age, but i had to study so... nothing much happened, but i did go for some vietnamese food with tong, so that was nice. tomorrow i'm having my b-day party :)

tonight were going for korean food (again hehe) and then were of to houhai to spend our evening in a local bar there.

i would like to wish everybody at home a 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

and all the happiness, health and good fortune you can get!

first song of the day: 'stop this train' by john mayer

winter

winter has finally come. the dry fallen leaves are crisp under my feet. cold air makes my cheeks blush. the cold wind cuts through me like hundreds of knives. and it isn't even really cold yet. the coldest weather we've had untill now was about minus four degrees, but the wind made it feel as at least minus ten. (what's it going to feel like when it really is minus ten and the wind blows?) it's gonna be some winter...

last weekend some friends and me went to a hiphop concert in yugongyishan. we came there way too early and had to wait for about two hours before it actually began. but it was absolutely worth the wait. i am not exacty what you could call a hiphop fan, i only went because my friends wanted to go. i had expected some rappers who would play a tape and rap along with that, but the music was much more instrumental than my expectations. there was a live band, and the music had a more reggaeish sound to it. it was really nice. but i can't say i have been converted, i don't play hiphop in my room yet, and i don't think i will in any near future :p

i myself have joined some kind of band today. which is to say, we are still in the beginning stages, i don't really know if we're going to be a real band yet. my friend weiti (dutch chinese) met this chinese guy, and told my he writes pretty good songs, asked me if i would like to try and sing with them. so that's what i did today. some of the songs were a bit burt bacharach, other songs were more bossa nova. it was jolly good fun, and we're to meet next week again. i hope it works out, i've always wanted to be part of a band...

oh and i bought nice and warm, wine red puma shoes to match the cold weather :)

first song of the day: 'dance with me' by nouvelle vague

pictures

pu'er tea and blueberry cheesecake

so here i am. back in my room. my parents left beijing about a week ago. strange to think they're on the other end of the world again. they were just here. 

we did loads of fun stuff. we had a silk suit made for my dad at wangfujing, one of the most famous streets of beijing. in the end about half the orchestra had gone there to have their suits, coats, blazers and pants tailored. we went to see the great wall, which was great indeed. the weather was a little foggy and we were rather late, so there was absolutely nobody there. what a view! much better than the crowded with tourists piece of wall i had been to a few years ago. i went shopping with my mum. i had never seen her shop till she dropped like she did last week. many presents on the plane home. we went to buy tea on several occasions (my dad = tea addict). we went to the expensive tea shop "ten fu's tea" on wangfujing, where we could try out different kinds of tea poured in tiny cups by giggling chinese girls. we went to a tiny shop across the hotel where the orchestra stayed, where a woman told us all about wulong and pu'er tea (the best kinds of tea for the winter). we went to the summer palace, nice but very touristy. and we ate many many delicious things, from peking duck to wonton soup. 

i also went out a few times with some members and two other daughters of the orchestra. new friends, new fun. i took my friends and roommate to the concerts, showed my parents my dormitory and tong's place, and took them to our favorite restaurants. all in all: a busy week. it was great fun :)

and now they've all gone home. i'm left in beijing with a few pieces of cheese and a box of liquorice. i'm going to school again (skipped all my classes last week), making homework again, eating blueberry cheesecake at the bridge cafe again...

all is normal again.

or is it?

first song today: "drive my car" by the beatles

parents

today my parents came to beijing. it's weird to see them here. the good kind of weird of course, but still... my dad's here with the orchestra of the 18th century, they have two shows in beijing this week, and my mum just came along. tomorrow i'm going to the rehearsals (i love rehearsals) and after that we're going to go see the great wall with the entire orchestra: fun! me happy :)

first song of the day: 'winning a battle, losing the war' by kings of convenience

chinese wind and australian waves

i finished reading my book today ('the wind-up bird chronicle' by haruki murakami). it was great, maybe the best murakami i've read untill now. it took me about two months reading it, spending every few spare minutes in my room reading a bit. now i have finally finished, i'm sort of at loss, i feel kind of empty now the story has ended. don't you ever have that? you get so caught up in a story that when it ends it sorta takes you by surprise. in your head it all seems so real you think it will go on forever, just like any real story in the real world. i don't know, maybe it's just me and my somewhat excentric imagination..

this week was like any other week. it was rather cold the first few days, but it's fairly warm again now. we've been having a lot of wind, i can hear it howling in the streets when i'm lying in bed at night. friday was halloween, and my friend kian's birthday. so we celebrated, we bought him some books about design, ate korean food, drank cocktails, and after that a few of us went out to a club. i didn't feel so well though, so i went home early (i'm such a geek, i know).

my aunt from australia is in beijing this week, so this morning i showed her my school and dormitory. we went for a bit of shopping, and i finally succeeded in buying a winter coat (yay!). after that we had lunch. it was nice :)

tomorrow i have a small oral exam, so i'm turning on the nerdy mode again..

first song of the day: 'scream' by deserts (張懸）

more weeks spent

my apologies for not having written anything for such a long time. i just haven't been able to find the time nor the inspiration to do so. 

tuesday i had my first exam at blcu. it wasn't a real important one though, just a diagnostic exam. it was for the subject 'classical chinese', and we had to translate classical chinese texts into modern chinese. i think it went alright. different from our classical chinese classes in holland though, the teacher tells us exactly how every text is supposed to be translated, leaving no room whatsoever for own interpretations. which is a shame i think, but also makes it much easier to study for exams. 

on thursday i met with a chinese girl i had never seen before, i know her cousin, so that's where the connection came from. she brought her best friend. we went for some hot chocolat and coffee, and chatted. it's nice having a real conversation with some real chinese people other than my teachers. even though i live in china now, most of my friends aren't chinese. owing to the fact that all my fellow students are, of course, foreigners just like me, and the conversations i have outside school usually don't include more than small talk and negotiation of prices. 

yesterday me and some friends went to a meeting where the dutch prime minister would hold a speech. we couldn't find the place, and ended up arriving over an hour late. it's strange how beijing taxi drivers don't seem even remotely eager to take passengers. they tell you with a straight face the place you want to go is really nearby, when it's actually an hours walk away.

and so i continue to float down the river of life, leaving no more than a few ripples on my way. and that's fine..

oh i forgot. first song of the day: 'change' by kt tunstall

suzanne

today's my little sister's birthday, she's turning fifteen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUUS!!!

i miss you

i love you

xxx luusje

first song of the day: 'suzanne' by leonard cohen

back to the normal life

it's been a week since i came home from shanghai. not much out of the ordinary has happened. once again i find myself floating in a sea of schoolbooks waiting to be opened, new word lists to be memorised and homework to be done. all of which i, promise myself, i will do in the very nearby future. not that i don't prepare for classes, i do, but nothing more than that. i'd rather read my murakami..

thursday i had my first chinese brushpainting class. i take these classes with four dutch friends at the peking university (a.k.a beida, the same university tong goes to). first we bought brushes, ink, paper, and the like. then we ate dumplings at the beida canteen (30 euro cents a portion) as quickly as our stomachs could stand, we were already late for our very first class. 

it was great fun. there was a lot of explaining to be done in this first lesson, therefore we didn't have very much time to paint and experiment ourselves. this week we'll have more time for that, so i'm looking forward to it.

yesterday one of my dutch friends had her birthday. the day before me and another friend had gone on an absolutely exhausting present hunt, that lasted the entire afternoon. but in the end we did find what we wanted, so it was all worth it. yesterday we went out to eat sushi and drink cocktails :P

the weather has been surprisingly good the last few days. despite the chilly air that has been setting over beijing, the sun keeps on shining fairly regularly. the trees are beautifully coloured. deep green, bright yellow, warm orange, and hints of brown give the streets a new paint. the falling leaves look like golden snow. and as the sweet sun warms our skin, it softens the pain of our homesick hearts...

first song of the day: "i will" by the beatles

pictures

you take picture of me?

i just got home last night. and when i say last night i really mean last NIGHT. why? i'll tell you later, first things first. it has been some week...

a week ago we arrived in shanghai without anything out of the ordinary to speak of. the problems started when we arrived at the youth hostel we had booked. the passports of three of my friends were still at the office where visas are given. although they did have copies and evidence from the school that this was where their passports really were, and the clerk at the hostel had said it was no problem on the phone (twice), they now would not let us in. we ended up wandering through the city for more than half a day with all our luggage, looking for a place to stay. because of the olympics there is this new rule in china that foreigners can only stay at hotels or hostels that have a permit to admit them. which practically means that foreigners can only stay at fancy, expensive hotels. me and my friends of course are only students and don't have very much money to spend. in the end we had to split up. everyone with a passport except from me went to the earlier booked hostel and the ones without a passport and me went to a sort of (illegal no doubt) small, inexpensive hotel were only one passport was needed to book a room.

shanghai was beautiful. i've been to the bund, nanjing road, xintiandi, ate the world's most famous xiaolongbao (steamed buns with meat), went to see the seventh shanghai biennale in the shanghai art museum (my uncle participates) and watched the stunning pudong skyline. 

wednesday we went to hangzhou by train. having arrived in supposedly the most beautiful city on earth, also called "the city of heaven" by marco polo (if he indeed ever was in china), we took a black taxi into town. this particular week being a national holiday resulted in an overly crowded hangzhou. luckily our taxi driver knew a hotel with some rooms still available, not too far from the famous west lake. we took two double rooms with the eight of us to share expenses. four girls in one room, four boys in the other. i had been two hangzhou before twice in summertime, at the time i had found it pretty crowded, i had never imagined it would be at least thrice as busy this week. we went for a stroll by the lake, went to the leifeng pagoda and did some excellent shopping. the leifeng pagoda was the greatest disappointment of this week i think. i somehow expected it to be authentic, but when we arrived there we soon realised it was completely new. crowded with tourists standing in line for the escalators and elevators (meant for the elderly and disabled) too lazy to walk the stairs to the top. once you reach the top and manage to find a good spot in the crowd you do get a magnificent view though...

overall both cities were very nice. if it wasn't for the overflow of chinese tourists and their tendency to take pictures of everything they see (preferably with themselves in front of it) my impression of them might have been close to perfect. i don't understand the total 'i have to take a picture of everything that crosses my path no matter what it is' frenzy of the chinese. it's like they go someplace, take pictures of everything only to see where they've been when they get home. they don't seem to really look around, it's very strange.

saturday we went back to shanghai, and sunday at four o'clock in the morning we took the train back to beijing. we had bought tickets for the only train still available when we arrived in shanghai the first time this week. they were tickets for hard seats (the worst you can get) and it would take us about twelve hours to reach beijing. we weren't exactly looking forward to our trip home, but when we were on the train there somehow were non-taken hard sleepers left, and if we paid extra we could get them. so we paid the extra money and were all really releived not to have to sit in a crowded coupe for twelve hours in a row. but as our journey proceeded it slowly began to dawn on us that this train would take a lot longer than promised to reach beijing. it stopped at allmost every slightly bigger town and drove much slower than our train on the way to shanghai. when at about six o'clock in the evening we still hadn't reached beijing and tong went to inquire why it took so long it turned out we would not reach beijing untill four in the morning. TWENTYFOUR HOURS on a bloody train!!! and it was freezing cold too! we weren't the only passengers who at first weren't aware of this. it seemed that at the ticket office they told practically everyone headed for beijing that it would only take twelve hours, to avoid not being able to sell the tickets! i for sure have never heard of such a thing. the food on the train was sold out in no time, so at every stop everyone ran out of the train to buy instant noodles and water at the small carts at the platforms. one of the weirdest things i've ever seen.

so i'm home again. i skipped class today. bad i know, but i was just too tired. i don't feel ready yet to go back to my going to school every day life. but then again, do i ever? :P

first song of the day: 'blackbird' by the beatles

xxx 

leaving beijing

today i'm leaving for shanghai. i probably won't be able to write the coming week, but i will try my best to give a detailed report when i come back. 

last quote i heard:

a friend is someone

who knows the song in your heart

and can sing it back to you

when you have forgotton the words

i don't know who wrote it but it's nice. corny, but still.

see ya later alligator!

first song today: 'city song' by emmy the great

xxx lucia

mist in my mind

i've been waiting for some inspiration

for some mental stimulation

something weird or something cool

something sweet or cruel

but all stays hidden

or forbidden

no stories to quote

new feelings i wrote

a tear and a half

for the stranger that laughs

a smile on a string

for the recollections you bring

boy, i can't rhyme for the life of me. haven't written a poem since i was eight, and with reason as you can see. i just don't know what to write anymore. a misty veil has formed itself around my mind, my thoughts don't seem to come through anymore. i can feel new ideas lying, lingering, waiting for my touch, but i can't reach them. my mind won't open up. 

winter is coming soon. i can feel it everywhere. leaves are falling, they're selling chestnuts in the streets, the air gets chillier everyday. we're going to shanghai the day after tomorrow, i hope it'll be warmer there...

first song of the day: "blue" by joni mitchell

missing is temporary, love is forever

i sincerely apologize for my temporary breakdown in my last entry. and thank you for all those sweet words to calm me down.

i absolutely love it here in china, i want there to be no misunderstanding about that. but there are also moments when i am completely exhausted by all the new impressions and experiences it gives me. and because i don't have a real home to go to, to straighten my thoughts, to rest my head, they sometimes get the best of me. there are moments when i feel utterly alone in this humungous city. i just want to convey my feelings as true as possible, i don't feel like lying about them.

now, to a more cheerful subject. in the last week, two of my uncles came to beijing. it was nice to have some family here. i went to dinner with them both and thursday i went to 798 with tong and my mothers brother tiong. at 798 there used to be a factory but it has now been turned into a contemporary art district. it's a great location where you can not only find any well known chinese artist but also your regular andy warhol. the little streets are filled with smaller and larger galleries, restaurants and cafés. you could roam through them for days if you wanted. it was great fun.

today is saturday, i don't know what i'm going to do yet. a greyish fog is settling over beijing again. there are times when you can look straight into te sun without hurting your eyes...

first song of the day: 'modern guilt' by beck

xxx lucia

*special thanx to fby 'cause i kinda stole his line

baby you've got me thinking, about the things i left behind...

i miss home. i've never missed home so much in my life. i guess it's because i know that the coming year i won't be there. not once. not a single second to catch my breath. the thought alone makes me feel uneasy. somehow i never thought i'd be like this. all i thought about was getting the hell out of holland. i got so used to the idea that that's what i wanted, that i never, not once, glanced back to see if i hadn't changed my mind on the way. i wonder about how people at home remember me. as the girl that didn't feel at home in the country she was born in? as the girl with wild dreams of a foreign unknown land? or as the girl who ran away from home as soon as she got the chance? did i abandon all my friends and family to pursue my own selfish dream? the impressions i left behind seem so much more important now.
still, this is the place i want to be in. this is the bed i've made myself, and i will lie in it.

first song of the day: 'left behind' by css

pictures

here are some more pics

homework and hedgehogs

life is finally settling down to a more normal pace. i try not to stay up too late as to avoid big loud snores during class, do homework and prepare my lessons every day. i now have 16 hours of school every week. outside of school i often meet with my friends, we go out to dinner together or cook ourselves at their appartments. too bad i'm not allowed to cook inside my dorm, i'm starting to miss home cooked meals. i even bought western style bread and peanutbutter, so i don't have to go out for breakfast in the morning. 

friday me and some friends went to mao livehouse, a sort of club where all kinds of bands perform live. we went to see 'hedgehog' a beijing band, sorta indie rockish i'd say, and they were great. amazing even. they're with two guys and one tiny girl drummer. i've never seen such a small girl give so much energy to a band, amazing. it was quite a relief to hear some 'alternative' music after all the popular chinese pop songs, they give you a toothache honestly.

i can't beleive i've been here for three weeks already. it's funny how time can play tricks on you. i feel like i've been here forever but at the same time i feel like i just got here. time flies. or are we the ones flying through it? i sometimes wonder what happens to time ones it has past. where do times past go? do they simply cease to exist, or  are they still present somewhere in another universe? maybe times past are only what we make of them in our own minds.

first song today: 'let's reggae all night' by css

guitar strings and other things

i bought a guitar! three days ago me and five friends went to a street full of stores that sell musical instruments. after having spent the entire afternoon roaming through it, each of us had bought an instrument: two violins, two guitars, a keyboard and a sax! i bought a classical guitar with nylon strings that can be plugged into a sound system, and i'm really pleased with it. so now my quiet moments are all filled with the sound of my clumsily plucked notes. 

friday night was my first night of going out in beijing. we went to a very popular club named vics. only the rich chinese kids and foreigners come here. we slowly sipped from our alcohol green tea mix drinks and danced to hiphop music. it was fun, but still it was hardly what you call the 'real' china. most chinese don't go out dancing anyway. what they do like is to go sing karaoke and i heard smaller pubs with live music are quite popular as well. so maybe i'll go and check out some chinese underground bands next time. 

yesterday was my friend's birthday, we ate pizza and sang karaoke. it was lots of fun but i was so tired i had to go home early. today i just spaced out a bit, made some homework, played some guitar, nothing special really. more days spent on the other side of the world...

first song of the day: 'sunday afternoon' by rachael yamagata

pictures

here are some pictures i took with my boyfriend's camera: 

blue skies and green tea muffins

the olympic frenzy is slowly starting to evaporate now. only the strange weather and the endless repetition of olympic programs on the telly remind us of the enormous event that has just taken place here. because during the olympics only half of the cars were allowed to drive and many factories were shut down, we've been having clear sunny skies for a few days on end now. a blazing heat is coming down on us and the warm sunlight kisses our skin. i absolutely love this weather, and with my new bike always at hand i am now beginning to feel truly at home in this never sleeping city. 

yesterday i started taking classes. i had 'listening and speaking', and today i had 'reading' and 'regular chinese'. it's nice to go to school again, it gives some regularity to my days.. i was surprised to find relatively small classes, and a lot of interaction between students and teachers. from what i heard at home i expected big classrooms full of students hastily scribbeling down what the professor says. so i am relieved to find  i have nice teachers and fellow students who can also chat and laugh with each other during class. 

i don't have internet in my room yet, so i am now at some bakery/cafe with wireless internet. here they don't only have all the regular sorts of pastry, but also the most bizarre combinations of sweet and salty products, such as donuts with curry filling, sweet bread with sausage or chocolate cheese (whatever that might be). the most succesfull one i've eaten untill now: a green tea muffin, yummie... 

first song today: 'move' by css

xxx lucia

beijing bicycle

i moved into the dormitories two nights ago. it's nice to have my own room. i've never had my own place before, and i never realized what kind of freedom it gives. my own time to think my own thoughts. and believe me, i need it. so many new impressions in this new city.

yesterday i had my chinese proficiency test. it went pretty bad i think. i hope i don't end up in the beginners class. i also had to have my health certificate checked. after that i went to silk street market with some friends. it was nice. today me and my friends bought bicycles! it must have taken us about five hours to find six suitable bicycles for good prices, unbelievable. busy days filled with busy nothings. i can't believe a week has already gone by... 

we have a clear sky now, here in beijing. i can see the stars.

first song today: 'i wish you love' by rachael yamagata

forgotten memories and dormitories

i just got home and i have already forgotten what i did today. erhhhm... oh yes, i remember, we went to my boyfriends university, but they wouldn't let us in. because the olympic table tennis matches were held in a sportshall over there and volunteers sleep at the campus they are extra strict. i also went to my own univerity, i couldn't really register yet, but i did register at the dormitories. i share a room with a girl from laos, but she wasnt there, so i haven't met her yet. tomorrow i'm moving in there. after our visit to blcu we went to wudaokou for a drink. we found this really cool bar with billie holiday songs in the background and wireless internet for free. i had the best blueberry smoothy ever. then we went to the tiananmen square, always nice. there were people who were standing there waiting for hours to see the national flag being taken down, quite bizarre. in the evening we met our friend for a drink. it was a nice day, and i'm dead tired. so i'm off to bed.

first song of the day: 'green eyes' by coldplay

xxx

wo dao le beijing

me eating noodle soup

today i have arrived in beijing. i found leaving and saying goodbye really really hard, but as soon as i got of that plane and the smell of china tickled my nostrils i knew: everything is going to be all right. i had almost forgotten what china smelled like, but one whiff was enough to remind me: i love it here. i'm staying at a friends house for the time being, only untill i get my own room at the blcu dorms. life is good...

first song of the day: i'm not sure when today started, being jet-lagged and all, but i think it was 'throw me a rope' by kt tunstall

today is the day

today i'm leaving for china. my great adventure is about to begin and i'm nervous. an overwhelming nausea is pressing on me like heavy rainclouds in my stomach. it's funny, this is what i have dreamt of all my life, but now that it's actually happening i feel sort of reluctant to leave. i hate to leave my family and friends. i don't want to say goodbye.

first song of today: hawaii by meiko

xxx lucia